Carnivore
by SumiZombiecore
Summary: If he was right he was dealing with Annie – the Female Titan, the Titan shifter, the girl who had killed more than once. Flashback like memories ran through his mind. Piling dead bodies on carts, walking through Trost, finding Marco, leaving behind comrades who never would be able to return to them, the venomous smell that made him want to vomit.
1. One and the same

Lyrics from Starset - Carnivore

* * *

**_All my life they let me know _**  
**_ How far I would not go _**  
**_ But inside the beast still grows _**  
**_ Chewing through the ropes_**

* * *

Jean Kirschtein had been anything but excited to not be able to move across the country to go to University but instead was stuck only two and a half hours away from his hometown. The boy had hoped to leave to a different state for years before he even knew what he wanted to do with his life but opted to stay closer to his parents and attend a University more fit to his needs than to his dreams. At least he got to study whatever he wanted and was even able to get his own small apartment which meant he wasn't forced to stay at the University's dorms. He also felt lucky to have some of the people he knew as well as his best friend close enough to visit them if he felt like it. This had been another reason, probably even one of the main ones, for his decision. The people he came to care for mattered more to him than some silly idea he had come up with as a kid when he still thought leaving everything behind would make him happy. No matter how he looked at it, even though a lot had changed since his past, he always ended up being the same person. Influenced by his former experiences and new surroundings, yes, but essentially still the same guy. It was somewhat funny to him to see everything around change but see the people staying the same when it came down to it. For a while he had considered joining the military but soon gave up on that idea. While the military nowadays gave him a lot of options he decided that settling down into a different branch would benefit him more while also giving him the opportunity to still help others. In general Jean could say he was happy and content with his life. He was alive and as far as he knew wasn't ill and most of all there was nothing endangering his life and spending time with his friends was nothing being overshadowed by death anymore. So he did what he thought to be the best option and enjoyed his first days at University strolling through town and the campus, trying to memorize where certain places were.

About three weeks after the semester had started he spotted a familiar face among the students currently flocking out of their lectures. His own classes had just ended for today and his mind already was busy with planning his remaining day and what he'd be doing, so he only caught someone he seemed to recognise out of the corner of his eyes. However something made him turn around and attempt to spot whoever it was he just saw. At first he couldn't make out anyone particular but just when someone accidentally hit his shoulder and yelled at him for standing in the middle of the hallway, he could make out the blonde hair of a tall person just down the hall. There was no way he could have mistaken that person. That huge body would stand out anywhere and it was kind of hard to forget that face.  
„Reiner?", he shouted after the guy and broke into a sprint to catch up with him. It took him a bit to fight through the people in his way without running them over while also not losing sight of the blond.  
„Reiner, wait!", he shouted again shortly after he was in hearing distance, this time getting his attention. Seeing the tall man turn around in confusion, his eyebrows furrowed, he waved at him in hopes of making the boy see him. A smile spread across his face the closer he got to who he assumed to be Reiner. When Jean got close enough he could see the other's face light up slightly, a smile tugging at his lips as well. He could not truly believe it. Running into someone like Reiner in a place like his University by pure coincidence. It happened before. The first time he recognised someone other than Marco he was confused about whether or not he might be mistaken. This time he felt rather confident. „Wow.", he grinned, slightly out of breath. „So, it's really you?" The question was the first thing that came to his mind when he came to a halt. The boy looked the part, that much was clear. Buff and tall, a mix of seriousness and friendliness on his face, while also giving off this intimidating aura. He wore light jeans with a belt around his hips as well as a dark tank top. The jacket he wore over it had the University's logo on it and some letters he couldn't make out but assumed to be his name on the back.  
„Kirschtein. I haven't seen you in what? A few centuries?" Now that he heard the slightly gruff voice there was no mistaking it. Jean had to chuckle at Reiner's choice of words. To everyone else it might seem like nothing but an exaggerated phrase but it might as well have been centuries as a matter of fact. Judging by the lack of evidence in any history books this world seemed to be slightly different to what they were used to. He wouldn't complain, though. „Who knows. Man, I didn't think I'd ever see you again and now you're just here.", he answered, sounding astonished. It was one thing to meet old friends you just lost touch with but an entire different story if you lost contact with them because technically you all should be dead. Somehow it always left a weird feeling in his stomach but he didn't mind. After all it usually felt better to have someone else to talk to after all those years. „How have you been? Damn, there's so much to talk about!" If he was reading Reiner's expression right then he seemed to be glad right now as well. The blond had a bag slung over his shoulder that he now decided to rummage through, obviously looking for something. „You're right. There's way too much for just now and I'm supposed to be training now, anyway. Let me give you my number and just meet up."; he explained and scribbled something of a piece of paper he just had torn from a pad and proceeded to hand it to him. „I got to tell Bertholdt about that. Can't wait to do that. I think he mentioned you in a conversation recently." Jean stuffed the paper into his pocket before looking up at the taller once again. „Bertholdt? So you mean he's here as wall? Damn, that's amazing!" It felt right to have Reiner and Bertholdt knowing each other. It simply seemed fitting for them. He had found Marco again as well so he figured it was only fair if everyone else got to meet the ones they were closest too themselves. „Of course! Call me, okay? Don't forget it! I really have to go now but I'll find you if you don't make sure to contact us!" Seconds after he made a sound between laughing and wincing – because Reiner seemed like he still would be able to take him out within a few moves – and saying his goodbyes he faced the man's back as he was walking down the halls again. He should make sure to meet up with them soon.


	2. When I Become My Worst Enemy

Lyrics from The One Who Laughs Last - Downplay

* * *

There's a war inside of me  
And you watch it silently  
Any idiot could see  
That I killed all the hope that I had

* * *

_„Of course! Call me, okay? Don't forget it! I really have to go now but I'll find you if you don't make sure to contact us!" Seconds after he made a sound between laughing and wincing – because Reiner seemed like he still would be able to take him out within a few moves – and saying his goodbyes he faced the man's back as he was walking down the halls again. He should make sure to meet up with them soon._

It didn't take them too long to find a way to meet up.

Marco, who Jean had told everything about the short encounter the same day, wasn't there but made him promise to send his greetings. Reiner had brought Bertholdt along, who had changed a bit opposed to how he remembered him, and so the three of them had arranged to get together a few days later.  
„So, summed up, Sasha is alright.", he explained while munching on some fries he had ordered when they arrived. „I think she was studying some sort of design stuff but quit and had training to be a cook or something. She's a confectioner now and the stuff she makes is amazing. Kinda fits potato girl!"  
Somewhere along the way they had started talking about some of the others they had met and how they did. It was refreshing to share stories about them and think about the past.  
Agreed, some parts of it were not spoken about especially with those two, but generally he had to admit he liked thinking about those days. After all a lot had changed after they had gotten some answers ans explanations. „That's a lot like her."; Bertholdt commented.  
He looked less anxious nowadays and wore his hair slightly longer. The intimidated look on his face was visible every now and then but overall the boy appeared to be a lot less pressured.  
Jean himself wore his hair partly longer as well, he had realised when he commented on Bertholdt's haircut. He had kept the undercut but didn't bring too much attention to it since a lot of people did that lately.  
„We met Mina in Greece about two years ago. Well, at least we think we did. She didn't remember a thing. Looked a lot like her though. Might be better for her to not remember it."  
That point had been something Jean had be scared of happening when he started to remember. Meeting someone he just knew to be a part of their shared past but not having them remember sounded painful, especially if those people used to be close.  
„Hey..eh.. I was wondering something. Did you guys hear anything from Annie?"; he questioned. He always saw those three as a unity ever after they returned to their side and seeing the boys alone now left a weird feeling.  
The blonde girl just became a part of them even through her distant behaviour and they formed their little trio within the entire group. The instant he asked he saw Reiner's face lit up and was sure they at least knew the girl was fine.  
„Yeah, man. She actually lives with us! Have known her for ages now.", he replied and nodded at his taller companion. „He got her to stay with us and study here. Her dad moved away around the time we started University so it kind of just fell into place." A small, barely noticeable smile came to his lips. It fitted the timid giant he knew.  
„She wanted to study Chemistry after all. It would have been more of a problem for her if she went away. She's not feeling well, that's why we didn't bring her along."  
„She sounds just like herself. But Chemistry? I feel so boring and average with studying Economics. What do you guys even do?" Compared to Chemistry, which was nothing but a mystery to him, his chosen field sounded so much more boring.  
„It's not, Jean. It sounds interesting enough.", he heard Bertl comment, while he stared at his leftover fries. „For me... I got into Physics around middle school, so that's what I'm doing now." Instantly his eyes were focused on the tall boy. „Physics? Are you serious? That's stuff for the super smart people. Like damn, I knew you were smart. I feel dumb now."  
He shot Reiner a pleading look, seeking for some sort of help to not make him sound like a complete idiot. Chemistry and Physics. Those were anything but his field of interests. „I'm with you there, no worries. I'm just into sports. Can't see why those two do all that boring theory stuff. I see them sitting over their books and just staring at weird equations a lot. It's insanity."

Their conversation carried on from that point to talk about how they currently lived, how they spent their time and just casually getting to know each other once again. He could see them still being the same even though some parts about them had changed.  
The Reiner he got to know now was simply a modern version of himself but a bit more carefree.  
Bertholdt suggested Jean seemed a lot less torn between what he wanted for himself and what he thought was right when he told them about his plans for his future. As the conversation carried on he forgot the time and just enjoyed being able to talk to someone else than Marco. Of course he loved spending time with his best friend but they had been through things so often by now that it just wasn't a topic anymore as often as it used to be.  
Another thing he was fond of the possibility of having made two friends who went to the same University. He hadn't yet made any real friends and with Marco living about thirty minutes away he was glad he might not have to spend his time as alone as he feared.

Within the following weeks he spent more and more time just talking to his former comrades, bringing Marco along every now and then. It was easy for them to just catch a few words with each other between lectures.  
Jean noted that they got along even better than they used to. Even after having them redeemed a small portion of him couldn't forget about what had happened and he figured that this time there was no way something similar would happen. Not worrying about his life made things easier.  
There also seemed to be a lot they could enjoy together. Reiner turned out to be quite into sports. While he was into rugby the most -personally he thought it fit the tall blond perfectly- he did the odd session of other sports. Reiner even made him accompany him to boxing and he now was considering to pick it up himself.  
He also got along quite well with a few of the people in his lectures and was thinking of maybe getting into music since one of the guys had proposed him a few ideas. Bertholdt on the other hand helped him a lot with his studies and made it a lot easier to figure out where he could get the right books. What surprised him at first was finding out that the dark haired guy had a thing for games as well.  
It seemed that Reiner enjoyed playing some games every now and then but Bertholdt was indeed rather good at it. He never would have considered this option but as a matter of fact the boy changed in some aspects.  
All three of them as well as Marco had spent the last weekend at his small apartment and agreed on a game night at Bertholdt and Reiner's place the following week. To his disappointment Marco had declined their offer to have him join with the valid excuse of having to study for upcoming tests.  
Jean was proud of his best friend studying law which did not mean he liked the fact that the caring boy spent a lot of his time preparing for some odd exam. Marco simply was the type to take his studies really serious and was the reason he got through some of the exams back at school by simply persuading him into studying together.  
Since Bertholdt's and his lectures ended at the same time they had decided to not wait for Reiner who still was at practise for his team and got straight to their's. The first time he had visited them at their flat he was impressed at how close it was to University and envied them for all the time they saved in the mornings. It was nothing big but it definitely was spacious enough for three people. The living room had a table big enough for at least five to six people as well as a nice sofa and in his opinion perfect TV. They also had two cupboards and a shelf on the wall filled with books and movies as well as some of Bertholdt's games.  
Reiner explained to him that their parents decided to buy them decent furniture when they all moved in instead of providing them with a new car since both Annie and himself owned one already.  
As soon as they had arrived he ungracefully threw his jacket onto the table, Bertholdt following suit. A few minutes later they carried the consoles into the living room to set everything up before Reiner arrived. It didn't take the two boys much time to set up the system which made them decide to play a bit before their mutual friend arrived. Jean guessed it had been about two minutes, three deaths on his side and one on Bertl's, later they heard music playing from their jackets. Pausing the game the taller got up and picked up his phone before leaving the room.  
„That was Reiner. Asked me to pick him up from practise since his ride didn't show up today or something and he just hates to take the bus.", Bertholdt explained when he came back inside, phone and key in his hand.  
„Do you want to come along or just wait here? I won't b long. Fifteen minutes top." Jean, who had shifted his attention from the TV to his friend simply shrugged. „I can wait. It's not like you're leaving me with nothing to do and let's be honest – having a few minutes to maybe finally get the hang of this game might not be the worst idea.", he said with a nod to the TV. Grabbing his jacket which still was carelessly thrown over on of the stools, Bertholdt just smiled at his statement.  
„Have fun then. I'll make Reiner hurry. Oh, also Annie should be in her room. Still sleeping, probably. She has been pulling a few all-nighters, recently. She still sleeps so little, maybe even less than she used to with all these exams going on. College's worse than Shadis, I swear."  
Thinking about it he barely had seen Annie, let alone talked to her in all the time he had spent with the others. Jean only had seen her on a few occasions like rushing to her room, barely seeing her back turned to hi, when he had been at their flat before and catching a glimpse of her when she picked up Bertholdt the week before. Until now he had not paid much attention to it.  
They all knew Annie to be distant and keeping to herself so he saw nothing off about it. Considering what he got told she also was busy studying nearly as much as Marco. „Hope she doesn't freak if she comes out.", he chuckled while unpausing the game and nodded at Bertholdt as he walked out the door. „Nah, we told her you'd be here. I'll hurry!"

It did not matter at that time but he could not say how much time had passed since he was left alone in front of the TV when he heard a scream from somewhere within the apartment.  
At first he was confused, not knowing where it came from until he remembered Annie. With the game still running he tried to look at her door but was unable to make anything out in the darkness of the hall.  
„Annie?", he called out, not sure of what to do. When he did not receive any answer he got up from his spot on the floor and headed over to the door he knew to lead to the girl's room. Calling out once again he was about to open the door, before he went to knock first.  
If Annie was just the slightest bit like she used to be – and from what he was told she most likely was – he would get his ass kicked for intruding. Once again he did not receive any reaction but could make out some faint noises behind the door.  
„I'm coming in!" He slowly pushed down the door handle to give the girl one last chance to reply him.  
The boy had no idea what to expect behind the door but as he pushed it open the light coming in through a window illuminated the room slightly. His eyes needed a second to adjust to the change in lightning but he could make out a figure on a bed in one of the corners of the room. Cautiously he stepped into the room, hearing nothing but what sounded like muffled whimpers from the bed.  
„Annie? Come on, just say something." A slight fear or at least some sort of worry had settled into Jean's stomach by now. Whatever was going on did feel eerie. Was the strong and silent girl he knew Annie to be crying? It was not right.  
Every now and then she uttered some words under her breath which Jean was unable to distinguish. He was not sure if he wanted to know what had caused this if she actually was in tears. Something which made the apathetic blonde wail was nothing he wanted to encounter.  
He took a few more steps closer to her but still did not receive any reaction whatsoever. The bed and Annie were close enough to see more of the girl now. She had pushed herself into the furthest corner of her bed, legs tucked to herself, curling up the slightest bit while her right hand clutched the sheets, which looked wrinkled and like she had pushed it away from herself only to pull it over herself once more, to her chest. It hung loosely over her right side but covered barely anything. Her other hand clawed at her neck to a point that it nearly looked painful.  
The blonde hair was a mess. Strands of it stuck out in various places and made her look even more off. Jean noted that she seemed to wear her hair in the same fashion he knew, still being able to make out the bun. Her body shook in irregular intervals forcing him to be certain that she was crying. Not knowing how he was supposed to handle the situation he opted for sitting down on the bed and reaching out for the body in front of him.  
The second he touched Annie's leg, trying both to get her attention and calm her, her head shot up. In the badly lighted room it was hard to make out but her eyes were surrounded by a light shade of red indicating that she indeed was crying. Her blue eyes were wide but unfocused.  
He was not even sure if she could tell he was there but when her arm shot out and gripped at his own stretched out arm he knew she at least realised some sort of presence in front of her.  
His own eyes widened and for a second he thought of pulling back but her grip would not have let him. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before another sob shook her form and she breathed out a 'They're dead.'.  
Confusion etched on his face and just as he was about to ask Annie what she was on about she shook her head and shook again. „I killed them.", she muttered, her voice sounding raw.  
„They're all dead because of me." Now it was Jean's turn to open and close his mouth in the silent struggle to find his voice. What was she talking about? He was unable to link her statements to anything and felt overwhelmed by the situation. The worry in the pit of his stomach worsened and he swallowed hard. „Annie, what do you mean? You did what?"  
The exact same moment he had asked her he made the connection. If he was right he was dealing with Annie – the Female Titan, the Titan shifter, the girl who had killed more than once.  
Flashback like memories ran through his mind. Piling dead bodies on carts, walking through Trost, finding Marco, leaving behind comrades who never would be able to return to them, the venomous smell that made him want to vomit. He breathed out a surprised 'oh' before the tight grip on his arm returned him to the situation at hand.  
The expression on his face fell and he crawled onto the bed, pulling the girl closer to himself in the process. „Shit, Annie." He was out of his comfort zone and generally not well at dealing with things like these so holding her, trying to make her stop shaking, was the only thing he could think of doing. The shaking did not stop and neither did her mumbling.  
„Annie, do you hear me?", he questioned. Her lack of reaction made him wonder if she even knew she wasn't in a barrack sitting on an uncomfortable bed from the military right now. „Come on, girl, you have to talk to me or something."  
It sounded like he was stuttering, his voice laced with worry and unease. It had been ages since he even talked to her and now here he was, holding her, trying to somehow calm her down – and failing at it – and generally being irritated on how he found himself in this situation. He needed Marco, or anyone else for that matter. The clicking of the door answered his prayers as he heard the two other inhabitants of the apartment returning home, not yet aware of the situation currently unfolding in the females bedroom.

„I'm home and ready to kick your ass!", he heard Reiner shouting excitedly. A sigh of relief left his throat unwillingly, before he turned his head to the door. „Reiner! Bertholdt? I really need some help!"  
A second of silence and what he thought to be a confused 'Eh?' by the second blond before he heard footsteps: Within a heartbeat he saw the two enter the room and staring at him in confusion and wonder.  
„I heard her scream and when she didn't answer I came to check on her.", he explained, still hugging the weeping form to him. „I have no idea what's wrong but she keeps talking about having murdered someone."  
Before he even could finish his sentence Bertholdt was at his side. Jean had not realised the boy had moved but he felt his weight push down the mattress. The next thing he knew was the tall guy gently taking Annie from his arms and started whispering to her.  
Reiner wordlessly tugged at his shirt and nodded at the door. He took the hint and crawled of the bed before silently following Reiner and closing the door with one last, confused look into the room of the blue eyed warrior.


End file.
